Oh Maggie!..

Huh? I don’t know what all the fuss is about. Just fancied curling up with something that belongs to the Boss. I really didn’t mean to chew the bobble off that hat. Honestly, humans! This human has lots of other hats and look, she’s smiling in spite of telling me off. What’s a little bit of chewing after all?

I do admit that I surprise myself sometimes with my ingenuity. I surprise the Boss and the other humans too.
Take last week for instance: I was woken rather rudely by someone coming down the stairs when it was still dark. Apparently, that is the norm now. Anyway, the said someone, let us out into the garden and began filling the kettle and clattering cups about. Blinds went up, curtains were pulled back to reveal a glimmer of morning light and by the time we came back into the house, it seemed breakfast might be on the cards.
No such luck, this particular someone just carried some cups of hot liquid up the stairs, leaving us to twiddle our paws while we waited.

What’s a pup to do? That’s right, look around for something to pass the time until the Boss appears with breakfast.
A sniff round the kitchen led me to a particularly tasty smelling cloth, hanging on the Aga. Curiosity overcame me and I sniffed it, accidentally knocking it to the floor. Hmm, better pick that up, thought I, better take it to my bed and look after it, thought I…

‘I wouldn’t do that,” Charlie Brown said, raising one grey eyebrow.
‘Not doing anything,” I said, or mumbled, because I don’t have hands so the cloth was in my mouth for safe keeping.
Charlie sighed and curled up in my old bed, the one I have outgrown. I stared at him for a while. I tried to curl up and sleep too, but, as I nuzzled the cloth, the smells overcame me and I had to lick, a lick became a chew and oh no! I could see through the cloth now – two holes had appeared as though like magic.
Oh well, best thing to do when you realise you are going to be in trouble is occupy yourself with something else and hope no one will notice the thing you have chewed. I mooched around and found one of my chew bones things. Antlers? Really? This one was extremely hard and, ouch! sharp! The top of it kind of broke in my mouth.

As I heard the Boss coming down the stairs I was quite indignant. How dare she give me a chew bone that was clearly not fit for chewing?

Did you guess?

‘Oh Maggie! What’s this?’ she asked. Well, I couldn’t answer but I made a sort of whimpering noise because I could see this was not going the way I had planned.
A second person appeared, The Boss held up the item which did look a little strange, I have to admit.
‘Well, I hope she didn’t swallow the chip,’ she said. We’ll soon know if the television turns on as she walks by or she starts displaying Breakfast TV on her tummy like a Tele Tubby!’
This last was said while she laughed. Thank goodness The Boss found it funny.
I don’t think I swallowed anything, certainly not a chip, though had I known that was an option, I may have looked for it. The Boss seemed to pick up the discarded, chewed bits and was still chortling about me becoming a TV receiver, when she discovered the Tea Towel.

As for me, I didn’t dare walk past the Television set for at least a week and nothing untoward happened.
As a matter of fact, I have just found a stack of paper on the coffee table, nice and chewable! This is much nicer than the slab of butter I stole the other day, that made me very sick. Luckily it had slid under the sofa before Charlie and I could properly attack it.

Oh, wouldn’t you just know it? The Boss has caught me again. It’s what, a book? Well, I never! What’s that Boss? Look, I am wagging my tail and laying my head in your lap. Can’t hear you, not listening…

‘Oh Maggie!’

Pup Extraordinaire

Maggie