Charlie Brown – My side of the story

Hi everyone – Charlie Brown speaking. Yes, I must say, it is a rare privilege to be allowed on here. Flossie normally guards her domain jealously.
Today, I thought it about time I redressed the balance between good dog and bad dog. I managed to persuade the Boss to give me some air time.
It seems to me, I get a raw deal when it comes to the ‘kiss and tell’ stories that Flossie goes in for. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love Floss to bits, she is, after all, my mum. (What do you mean we look nothing alike?) Truth to tell, this fact has not escaped my notice but my earliest memories are of curling up in Flossie’s copious clouds of hair where I felt safe and warm.
So, what if we are as different as chalk and cheese in looks? We are soulmates.

This is me as a pup, apparently taken when I was a few months old. I must deduce from that, that I did have another mother at one time, perhaps one who looked a little more like me? Be that as it may, with Floss and I, it was puppy-love at first sight.

It took me a very little time to realise that Floss did not bark very much, if at all, and certainly not when anyone knocked at the door. The postman came and went, people knocked at the door and the Boss did not hear, deliveries were missed, visitors resorted to banging loudly to make sure the Boss, who may have been down the garden or at the back of the house, would know they were there.
It was a situation that had to be redressed – a job made for yours truly!
I soon made it my duty to sit on guard and bark furiously should anyone approach the house.
Although the Boss sometimes asks me to be quiet and ‘go into the other room’ I know she is pleased that I have alerted her. She is most pleased when I get to greet the people at the door and do not try to escape or run away, unlike Flossie, who would squeeze through and be off down the road in a second, given the chance.

Floss did that yesterday, actually. The Boss was looking after three of the little humans who had had their tea with us. I say ‘us’ because Floss was under the table and I was close by. Always a few scraps to be had when the little humans come to tea! The Boss was preparing to take the little humans home when one of the boys left the front door open for a moment.
‘Where’s Floss?” I heard the Boss ask, suspiciously.
True to form, Floss was half way down the road. The Boss Man went to fetch the biscuit tin – one rattle and Floss tends to come running. She didn’t. So the Boss headed down the road after her and cornered her in a neighbour’s garden.
I would have helped of course, but unbeknown to the Boss, I had been shut in the back garden and though I scrabbled furiously at the back door, it was a while before anyone noticed.
On the subject of escaping, something I am not prone to do, I have to confess to a misdemeanour some time back when Floss tried to escape via a hedge but got stuck in the middle. It is chronicled here: A Twist in the tail. In trying to help her, I slipped through a gap at the bottom (the advantages of being small are many) and found myself in the road.
Getting back was a bit tricky so I went next door in the hope of finding a different way home. By the time the boss had freed Floss, I had got myself a little lost. I found my way home eventually, but I didn’t hear the last of, “the time Charlie Brown disgraced himself and went missing for half an hour,” for a long time.

Walks. Now, the Boss used to take both of us for a stroll round the fields but apparently, she dislikes the way I pre-empt any attack from another dog by growling and snapping. Excuse me, but ever since I was set upon by a couple of large spaniels, I have to be careful. I must protect the boss too! Unfortunately, I do admit that me being careful has resulted in injury to the Boss as my teeth connected with her leg a couple of time…oops! Still, she was very good about it after she had threatened to find me a new home and had marched me home on a tight lead.
The next time she took me out, she fitted me with a dreadful mask that made me look like Hannibal Lector. The one in this picture is a softer version but still, not good!

How is a dog meant to look his best wearing that? It was the lesser of two evils though and I got a walk.
I practised being cute after that, at every opportunity.

Her next step was to get a personal trainer for me. I was flattered. He was very nice. I managed an entire walk including a meeting with several dogs without too much bother.
My walks looked up after that. My mask was discarded, a new lead was slipped on and off went.
I did my best of course. As the little dog approached with his owner, I only made the tiniest whimper. The Boss yanked the lead (I thought I was going to be strangled!) and then let it go, by which time, I had forgotten about the little dog and was more concerned about my windpipe. With a bit of practise, the Boss managed to get the lead method right.
These days, it is normally the Boss man who takes me for a walk if we go out with The Boss and Floss. The Boss man does not stand for any nonsense so I don’t give him any. Besides, I have decided he can defend himself so doesn’t need me to warn every dog who comes near.

It is hard being so small but I can jump onto the sofa and curl up on a lap without too much of a problem. Floss tries but poor thing is a tad large.
It was jumping off the sofa that alerted the Boss to my poorly leg which stuck out at right angles, leading her to believe I may have dislocated it. It was painful I must say.
When it was no better the following day, the Boss decided another trip to the Vet was in order. Unfortunately, she was called away on an emergency mission to the mother of the three little humans, who was rather unwell and so it was left to Phoebe’s owner who I perceive to be another one of the Boss’s very own little humans, grown big, with little humans of her own, to take me to the vet. I shall call her, Bossling.
Phoebe was not with her. In case you have not yet met my girlfriend, this is she – quite a stunner don’t you think??

She can also run like the wind and I am hard pressed to keep up. I manage though. In the next photo, we have flaked out after about a thousand laps of the garden…Happy days!

Alas, the soft mask was used in case I should cause a scene in the waiting room. (I do have a history of worrying behaviour in there though have been told I am a model patient in the surgery itself). The Bossling sat in the waiting room with her two little humans and me. As she told the Boss earlier, I did not yap or bark at the other dogs I saw and behaved myself impeccably.
Fortunately, my leg was not dislocated but it is inflamed so I have been taking the necessary tablets to combat that. I am not to jump up or down. ‘Ha Ha,’ That’s the Boss. She knows me well. When you are not much more than a foot off the ground, there is nothing for it but to jump up and down…ooh, ouch, maybe not!
Well, as you can see, I am not half as bad as Floss tends to make out and Floss is not always the goody two shoes she professes to be. Still, she’s my Floss and I love her!

Yours Truly,
Charlie Brown (PocketRocket)
Border Terrior Extrordinaire